Aging
So I'm home.
Somehow I'm not jumping up and down nonstop in delirious joy as I expected. I don't know why. Have been pretty out of it lately.
It's only been six days yet so much has happened. I don't even know where to begin.
Uncle's down in Penang from Seremban. His health isn't looking so good, and he's down here as he has lost faith in the Seremban hospitals. It's fucked up, seeing him all weak and shit. He's always been the most lepak uncle. With this, family politik has also sprung up. So fuck that.
I'm not afraid of dying per se. I'm just terrified of growing old. Frailty, weakness, kenyanyukan. Nick and I have an upstanding agreement. If I'm alright financially and my family's secured in most all aspects, he'll kill me when I'm sixty-five. If I'm not, he'll still kill me, but he'll provide for my family.
I wonder if he's gonna bed my wife then as well.
Am in between houses right now, so that's fucked up as well. Have not any furniture for my room, and am not really arsed about furniture shopping either. Someone broke into the new place and stole all our manhole covers though. Like.. what the fuck man?
I've been feeling off since I got back, and I have yet to pinpoint the reason. Feel not like doing much at all. It's close to ten at night now, and already I'm going to bed after I'm done with this post.
My parents seem to have aged years in the eleven months I've been away. Wait, stroke that. Only applies to my dad. Mom is still feisty.
Was supposed to meet my dad somewhere in Batu Mertajam this morning to look at something for the new place. I was running late. So he called and fucked me up as expected. But it wasn't a powerful fucking up. He has lost some of his.. spunk? Usually he'd go on and on.. Lanciau this, fuck that, bastard here, cibai there..
Not too much of that this time around. He even bought durian for me after he gave me a bollocking. Usually it'd take him a few days to feel bad.
Shit-lah, pa.. Don't fucking get old!
I don't know. I just don't feel right. Something's out of place.
Somehow I'm not jumping up and down nonstop in delirious joy as I expected. I don't know why. Have been pretty out of it lately.
It's only been six days yet so much has happened. I don't even know where to begin.
Uncle's down in Penang from Seremban. His health isn't looking so good, and he's down here as he has lost faith in the Seremban hospitals. It's fucked up, seeing him all weak and shit. He's always been the most lepak uncle. With this, family politik has also sprung up. So fuck that.
I'm not afraid of dying per se. I'm just terrified of growing old. Frailty, weakness, kenyanyukan. Nick and I have an upstanding agreement. If I'm alright financially and my family's secured in most all aspects, he'll kill me when I'm sixty-five. If I'm not, he'll still kill me, but he'll provide for my family.
I wonder if he's gonna bed my wife then as well.
Am in between houses right now, so that's fucked up as well. Have not any furniture for my room, and am not really arsed about furniture shopping either. Someone broke into the new place and stole all our manhole covers though. Like.. what the fuck man?
I've been feeling off since I got back, and I have yet to pinpoint the reason. Feel not like doing much at all. It's close to ten at night now, and already I'm going to bed after I'm done with this post.
My parents seem to have aged years in the eleven months I've been away. Wait, stroke that. Only applies to my dad. Mom is still feisty.
Was supposed to meet my dad somewhere in Batu Mertajam this morning to look at something for the new place. I was running late. So he called and fucked me up as expected. But it wasn't a powerful fucking up. He has lost some of his.. spunk? Usually he'd go on and on.. Lanciau this, fuck that, bastard here, cibai there..
Not too much of that this time around. He even bought durian for me after he gave me a bollocking. Usually it'd take him a few days to feel bad.
Shit-lah, pa.. Don't fucking get old!
I don't know. I just don't feel right. Something's out of place.
This entry was posted by tsh, on
Tuesday, May 24, 2005.
You can bitch back.
say it