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My Father Is A Farmer

..and we work work work the day away.

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Gaping Hole

I feel as if I've fallen into one.

I'm feeling so very low. I haven't felt this bad since.. I can't even remember.

Am back in Dublin after two months of blissful familiarity. Wait, check that. The blissful part calls for some review. It was great, being home. But my time was dogged. Oh-so-dogged by my results.

Before they came out, I couldn't stop thinking about them: Did I do well? Did I fuck up the clinical diagnoses? Did I..?

After they came out, I still couldn't stop thinking about them: Fuck, I have to go back soon. Fuck, a month. Fuck, a week. Fuck, two days.

And now I'm back. Arrived in Dublin at eight this morning. Spent the whole day cleaning the house, doing laundry, getting groceries, fuck like that.

I have always relished the absence of my housemate. But not today. I'm craving for contact with someone. Anyone at all. The silence is so fucking loud my ears hurt. Do you know what I mean? The immense ringing that comes with total silence?

One has got to deal, no?

And deal I shall try. No. And deal I must.

Will this mark the reinstatement of post regularity? I hope so. Since there is no one, I might as well talk to everyone.

Have I mentioned I feel like shit?

This entry was posted by tsh, on Wednesday, July 20, 2005. You can bitch back.

  1. Blogger James | 20/7/05 2:43 AM |  

    hei man. chill. life's like that. i really hope we can see each other in future again. and our children will be best friends. like what we've chit chatted that day.

  2. Blogger STP | 20/7/05 4:20 AM |  

    don't you hate that? Sometimes you get so sick of someone being there, but you also get so sick of being there alone. I feel your pain my dear, I feel your pain!

  3. Blogger tsh | 20/7/05 3:35 PM |  

    s.swayer, thanks for your empathy.. :)

  4. Anonymous Anonymous | 20/7/05 10:01 PM |  

    your children will be indeed best friends!

    ahahaha

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