I'm Devastated

It's been exactly a day since I left the examination centre, and it took me just as long to realise something.

I left my water bottle behind.

It dawned on me when I woke up an hour ago. I always reach out for the bottle as soon as I wake, to rehydrate myself before the morning Marlboro Light. Drink water, smoke, brush teeth after. Tried and tested, works like a charm.

It wasn't there. My trusty moss-green Nalgene bottle wasn't anywhere to be found. Lemma puki chau cibai! I thought hard. Really hard. I went into the exam centre with my lucky, green bottle, but I didn't come out with it.

Why the fuss over a water bottle, you ask? Cue senti flashback moment.

2003, a month before I was supposed to fly to Dublin for the first time. My whole family was down in KL, doing some miscellaneous shopping. Our last chance to bond before their beloved son leaves for ten months straight. Before they have to suffer my absence. Oddly, they were in high spirits, they seemed pretty happy..

Hmm.

I remember I was in an outdoorsy bag shop, looking for a knapsack. My sister was commenting on how gay the colours were. My dad appeared by the shop entrance , clutching a plastic bag. He thrust it at me.

"Nah, this is for you.."

"Hami lanciau*? Water bottle? Damn kindergarten la wei.."

"Then what are you going to do about water? You're not spending my money buying bottled water everytime you go out.. Idiot.."

"Oh.. True also.."

"The guy took the bottle and threw it hard againt the marble floor. Didn't break. It can withstand temperatures of up to 150 degrees. So you can fill it with hot coffee, even soup.."

"But I don't know how to make soup.. Is that how the shop owner sells all his stuff? Ganas also.."

"Shut up. You get my point. I know you won't bring any of those Cina thermoses mom bought for you. So bring this."

"Thanks.."

You have no idea how much love was exchanged in that five minutes. My family works in an odd, businesslike way. There are never any hugs. No one says I love you. I have gone Street Fighter style against my dad on multiple occasions, at his provocation. My dad shook my hand before I got on the plane to Dublin. Get?

My dad never buys me something without me asking/begging/stealing his money for it.. So, this was definitely a senti memory worth preserving for the rest of my life.

And now the bottle's lost. Hope the exam centre keeps a lost and found. This happening in Ireland, I have a slightly higher probability of reuniting with my Nalgene than if I had lost it in Malaysia. I hope. Please please please.

An old friend once told me we suffer only because of the bonds we have.

I thought it was a lame ass line to get girls at the time, but I think I understand, today. I'm devastated.

*lanciau added for dramatic effect

This entry was posted by tsh, on Saturday, May 07, 2005. You can bitch back.