Kopi!

Wah, this post will have a lot of picture, okay?

I will show you how is the perfect start to the day. The food part lah. I show you how to make the best sandwich in the world! You will feel like you are in coffee shop in Penang! If the coffee shop got make sandwich lah, okay?


First you must have the bak. Meat lah. I like to use fish and bacon. Throw both into oven for thirty minutes at two hundred degrees. They will both come out damn crispy, okay? Damn nice man when the bacon and the fish is crispy!


While you wait for the meat in the oven, don't waste time! Got other things to do! Like fry egg. Must fry mata kerbau style. Pan must be very hot, so the bottom of the egg is brown before the yolk is cooked! Yolk cannot be cooked, okay? If not everything spoil. Must be wet wet. Mmm.. Wet wet.


Next, toast two slice of bread. If toast bread also you need me to teach you, you are stupid. Don't try to cook, later you set yourself on kebakaran.


Next, get ready the mayonnaise and cheese. Must use normal mayonnaise, no pondan light/low fat bullshit. Cheese is up to you what you want to use, but I like the edam cheese. Must be elitist, okay? If chances are people you see on Penang Road don't know how to pronounce the name, you are elitist! Congratulations!


Okay, sapu both slices of bread with a lot of mayonnaise. A lot, okay?


Then put cheese on top. Two slices for two slices ma.


The meat will usually be ready by now. If not, it means that you work too fast. Must slow down next time, okay? Put the bacon on one slice of the bread.


Then put the fish on top. If you put the fish first, the bacon will fall off the fish. Because the fish is not flat, okay?


Wah! Almost ready! Now put the egg on top! Must be careful, later the egg pecah. Then all wasted. Use spatula to pick up the egg lah, don't be lazy.


Cover lah, okay?


Now for the high class feeling and style, you must cut the sandwich! I like to cut diagonal, cause I feel that one more class.


Wah! Look at it! So nice! This is the best sandwich in the world. See the yolk spill everywhere, so perfect! Don't say no ah. Very nice, okay? Too bad you cannot taste it. I use special sauce some more. So special I cannot tell you what it is. Sorry lah.


For the coffee shop feeling I promise just now, go and buy this one. Nanyang Roasted White Coffee! It is the best kopi-O out there. Kopi-O means no milk lah. This one is special because got that kao kao taste. Kao is thick lah.


See? The coffee so kao! So black! Cannot put too much water, okay? Half cup is enough. I tell you, the coffee so kao it make your heart go pom pom pom. So much blood flow and the blood flow so fast, your ku ku ciau also can khi ngek. That is what you call kopi-O KAO man! If you don't have ku ku ciau, I think you will just dizzy lah, sorry.


Of course, not really coffee shop without the hoon kee. For best result, put one leg on the chair when you smoking, okay?

I hope this is useful to you!

This entry was posted by tsh, on Sunday, August 14, 2005. You can bitch back.