Chinky

I'm not usually one to do the whole forward-this-forward-this thingamajig, but this struck a chord.

Plus it kinda qualifies as one entry, so there.

28 + 3 Ways To Know You're Asian.

You know you're Asian if..

1. You unwrap gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the
wrapping (and especially those ribbons). I used to do that

2. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store
them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved
out. I do that for toothpaste. Toothbrushes too. You can never have too much of either, okay?

3. You keep a thermos of hot water available at all times. Hey. I have a thermos in my car all the time. But it's just plain cool water. The thermos stops it from heating up when you leave it under the sun, okay?

4. You save grocery bags, tin foil and tin containers. You use the grocery bags to hold garbage. Yup.

5. You hate to waste food..
a) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them. (Your mom will give a lecture about starving kids in Africa). Bosnia, more like. Or Somalia.
b) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing. Which goes into the bin at the end of every month.

6. You don't own any real Tupperware.. only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, take out containers and jam jars. Got Tupperware la, got la.

7. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel. Guilty. Sometimes.

8. You wipe your plate and utensils or wash them in a small basin of hot water before you eat every time you go to a restaurant. Nope, not this one.

9. You own a rice cooker and a slow cooker. When I was in Dublin.

10. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it. Isn't that how you're supposed to do it?

11. You fight (literally) over who pays the dinner bill. Yala, my favourite. I like to act like the taukeh. Haha.

12. You have a teacup with a cover on it. Huh?

13. If you're under age 20, you own a really expensive walkman, and if you're over 20, you own a really expensive camera. Nope. My digicam is like.. 5 years old, babe.

14. You're a wok user. Ahuh.

15. You only make long distance calls after 7pm. Gone are the days I needed to call long distance.

16. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached.. it means they're fresh. Mestilah.

17. You never call your parents just to say 'hi'. How bout "Hi, can you send me some cash?"

18. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they'll ask if you have eaten, even if it's midnight. Haha. Bullseye baby.

19. Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick. They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods because they're heaty. They're right!

20. You e-mail your Asian friends at work, even though you only sit 10 feet apart. Have not yet been in such a situation.

21. You always cook too much. Always.

22. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table. Fuck it, whack only. If you're too slow, it's your loss. Not when I'm eating with girls though. Have to pretend a bit then.

23. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat buffet. Shy.

24. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewellery, electronics or computers. And almost everything else!

25. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it. Haha. Nolah.

26. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin. Haha. Yeslah.

27. You know why this list consists of only "28" reasons. Prosper easily!

28. You take this message and forward it to all your Asian friends. If you're not Asian, don't fret, no one's perfect.

There are three more indications that you need to add to the 28..

*29 You never forget to take with you all the unused bath and facial tissues when you check out from the hotel because you believe that you have paid for all of it. Nolah, I very paranoid wan. Takut kena apprehend on checking-out. Shy, balls.

*30 You will laugh at yourself when you read all of them.

*31 And you will always be proud because you're Asian.

Righto.. Prophet's birthday tomorrow = No ward rounds.

Out to Bed for a drink.

Hip hip, baby.

This entry was posted by tsh, on Monday, April 10, 2006. You can bitch back.