Privacy

I've been thinking a lot about that these few days. About privacy, I mean.

How much do we really need for ourselves? Like how much should you keep just for yourself?

It goes without saying that certain things are best left unsaid, that certain things you should never ever divulge. Naturally.

But who decides where to draw the line? Yourself?

I think we usually follow the social norm when it comes to things like that, and... it's not all bad.

Right, as usual, I'm not making sense. Thinking out loud.

I guess in the end, it's all bout being comfortable. And it has to be.

***

Was downstairs to grab meself a Yakult when the farmer called out.

Oi ah boy ah, go cut pineapple.

Ha? How to cut pineapple?

*silence*

*more silence*

What do you mean how to cut pineapple? Use a knife la! Do you know how to eat rice?

What has eating rice got to do with anything? *slurps on Yakult* And you gotta cut left cut right when you cut pineapple right? All the lubang and shit that will cut your tongue otherwise.

Oh. No la. It's already deholed. Just slice it into smaller pieces.

*silence*

*silently walks upstairs to have tea and listen to Zero 7*

***

My glasses broke about a month or so ago. I didn't do anything, they just broke, promise. So I had to use my geeky spare pair. Things were quite blurry the last month or so. If I complimented you on your looks in the aforementioned period of time, now you know I wasn't really telling the truth ya.

Ho ho ho.

So I went with the sister to make a new pair. She got itchy while I was trying on the different frames, so she made a pair too.

The sister came to pick me up from lectures this evening to collect and fit the new glasses. So nice hor. On a side note she slid a box of weird japanese biscuits into my schoolbag a few days ago as a surprise. So nice hor? I think she was feeling bad cause she asked me to FUCK OFF a few days back when I was really really bugging her. Haha.



I picked out her pair. Nice yeah? Doesn't she look super pretty dashing chun like a sunflower on a summer day? And yes, this is the sister. I don't think I've ever put up a picture of her before. I hope she doesn't give me hell for this. She reads the Chaohai, so powerful hor my reverse psychology?

Don't let the demure exterior fool you. This is one savvy lady. You kena you sure die wan. Cause the farmer will skin you alive, after she's done shredding your soul.

Ho ho. Don't scold me ya. Remember I paid for your stupid pumpkin frapp. Hor.



This was what the sister picked out for me. I think it's pretty okay - pretty similar to the ones which broke. I wanted a funkier pair but kena ban. I wasn't trying to look cute. I was trying to blow at something I think.

Wokey good night sleep tight and remember to take your vitamins.

It's gonna be a long weeked. Three cheers for National Day.

Or summat.

The Long & Winding Road

Saturday, the 26th of August, 2006.

Today is a good day.

And so it begins, sweet, beautiful as it always is.

The thing is, what'll happen when the la-la-la wears off?

It's not like me to say stuff like this, but I hope and pray that it goes well, that it all works out.

I wish I could freeze-frame right now and keep it with me in a deep dark recess of my heart, where it can be readily called upon shall I ever need a lift. Or a reminder when things get tough.

And so it begins.

Comments disabled.

Kekeliruan

My last rant was a source of confusion for not one, but two of my friends.

And neither was the backstabbing sonofabitch I was talking about. Sadly.

Awkward, sial. Malu, sial.

Which got me thinking, were they doing something behind my back, hence the guilty conscience, hence the perasan-ness? Haha lawak.

Man I say that with not a trace of sarcasm.

I appreciate that you had the guts to talk to me about it, I respect that you have mucho balls, bro.

That said, I'm a very straightforward, uninhibited, irreverant dick. So if it was you, you'd definitely know it.

Sorry bout the confusion, man.

You're a good friend, both of you are. Me love you long time. But now that you know it's not you, I'm sure you're on your way to figuring out who the venom was directed at. This is me hoping you'd let it go, and forget it. Don't bother finding out who it is, heh.

And also, the hongkie doesn't read the Chaohai. She's missing out, for sure, but I'd rather it stays this way, yeah?

On a side note, had a long chat with the correct correct correct bitch. I haven't talked to a guy for so long in ages. Emo senti talk and all that shite, but - luckily and gladly - no violence. Neither fists nor kicks flew. Which doesn't do much in the drama and material-for-posts department, but at least the friendship didn't combust. Not by very much, anyway. In the end... All's fair in love and war, yeah?

Plus don't forget - I'm the cockiest, most confident motherfucker in the history of mankind. So I think I'll emerge victorious. The rest of ya can suck it slow.

Off to the wards then.

So drama, right?

Mummy, Look At The Pretty Colours

Okay I know I have forsaken almost all structure and comprehensibility when it comes to my posts, but fuck it, me tired.

I came to a realization earlier.

Today was probably one of the worst days in recent memory. Managed only about 2 hours of sleep the night before; had to be in the wards by eight. Wards lasted all the way till one in the afternoon.

Grabbed a quick lunch, then the whole evening was a blur, going here, there, everywhere. There were errands that had to be run. Went back to college for a lecture in the evening, played a few hours of basketball, sped off home (after being turned down a visit I sorely needed).

Had dinner, and am now here in front of the MacBook, tired as hell.

Tired like you wouldn't believe.

Back to my realization, my epiphany, my clouds-parting, trumpets-blaring moment. As sad as it may sound, this blog is probably one of the best friends I have (besides you of course, BABE - and with that I mean my dermatologically-challanged bitch). It doesn't turn me down, it doesn't complain, it's patient - never asking for anything even if I don't layan. For however long.

No. I am never shutting this down. No. Even if it IS weeks between posts, I'll never leave you, beloved Chaohai. You give me solace, you give me peace when I need it most. Me love you long time.

Haha. Such bullshit, a love letter wasted on something which can't even respond. Somehow though, I find that comforting.

By the way, Larry was here over the weekend. It was an insane insane insane week, filled with loads and loads of booze and weird (albeit cool) happenings. I won't desecrate its sanctity by trying to describe it. Now he's on the bus back to KL. Much love, bitch.

Okay, enough ranting.

Pictures, then. Of the Langkawi trip.



Ahh. Beautiful, innit? Mutiara Burau Bay Resort, forget it not.



The Chaohai with Dr. Vijay. We did a lot of this.



I told you we did a lot of this. Dr. Jeffers is staring at Dr. Vijay's tits, while the Chaohai is hearting the hammock. Dr. Vijay looks blur. He's always blur, come to think of it. Ha ha.



The Chaohai on the hammock, silently bitching bout the RM7 Cokes. Dei can feed small third-world country like Singapore dei, RM7 Cokes. Madness. Ya ya cheapo chinaman. Well fuck you too.



Us looking at the monkeys, Dr. Jeffers photographing Larry who's in turn photographing us. The customary noontime Heineken. Bliss. No worries. No backstabbing sonofabitch friends watching you from behind. Hah.



The Chaohai at the wheel of our Ferrari-Iswara. Power sial. It was so powerful it kept dying at roadblocks all over Langkawi, after which it refused to start. Scary. Plus the fuel gauge was fucked beyond St. Christopher, making it impossible to estimate when to refill. Scary. Ferrari-Iswara, RM40 a day. What an experience.



Larry lying on the bed, layaning weird shite like trip-hop, dreampop, Regina Spectre's statue song, bossanova, flamenco, and more. Much more. Oh Larry. Sop stim.



Checking out. I was kinda glad to be leaving. I was starting to miss my chocolate, and also Char Koay Teow. Oh the naive Chaohai, how stupid you were. How could you have wanted to come back to this? THIS??



I really like this picture. It's very relevant, very fitting, a perfect summary of a not-so-perfect yet fantastic holiday.

I guess looking at the pictures makes my humdrum life seem even more humdrum somehow.

Was talking to Andrew (Yap - a colleague of mine) a week or so back. It turns out we're both not really enjoying what we're doing right now.

I hope it's just a phase, but it's worrying all the same. I'm not one to give up, and therein lies the problem. I won't give up, which means I'll just bitch, grit my teeth, and pull through.

Wherever shall I end up once I'm pass squeezing through the narrow, cold tube that is today, now? I don't know. That was meant to be rhetorical, bitch.

I hope it's just a phase, but it's worrying all the same.

On a side note, things with the Hongkie are.. okay. I don't know, really. I think I'm at a point where I don't let myself hope for anything no more. Which is good and also bad at the same time. The worrying thing is, I think I've fallen harder than I was ready to fall. And I don't know as of yet if she's capable of layaning my senti emo sop stim side. Plus, there's a stone in my shoe.

You were my friend before all of this started, man. If only you had told me, it'd be different. I'd have done things differently, for sure. I don't wanna say anything because what I can piece together right now is attributed to many small fragments that I've gotten from multiple sources, thus the lack of trust on their authenticity.

You were my friend before all of this started, man. If only you had said something. It's no fun finding out like this. I hate drama. Especially the unique, fluffy-pink awkwardness that inherently comes with stuff like this.

You were my friend before all this started, man. Remember the saying - bros before... blabla? And I really mean it. I'm not some patronising cunt you find on Chow Kit.

Fuck it. I need a shower. And my bed.

A Reply

The Ingolstadt boys do not sit idle. Nah, take that. And that. And hurt!



Just look at that front. Mannnnn. *orgasms* *orgasms again*

Winning the Le Mans might not mean loads to the common ah pek, but you gotta take it in context.

BMW has long prided itself on its racing heritage, specifically its endurance racing dominance of days past. But that was back in like the thirties/forties/fifties. I wasn't born yet then, so I can't comment. Heck the farmer wasn't even born yet.

A hyuk a hyuk.

Days past are the key words here. The last time they won was in 99. Audi has owned since then.

Owned. Owned owned owned.

Wokey I know the posts are more boring than usual, but me like cars. Me like cars very much. And the Audi/BMW debate never fails to ignite the fuse stuck up my ass.

What The

..fuck is this?



No, no. Bullshite. Completely unnecessary.

At least Audi's engine slapped back. Engine of the year for two years running, okayyyyyy?

Nah take that. I know this is very subjective, but least Audis don't look gay, okayyyyyy?

Ku Ku Ciau

It's nearing four in the a.m. and I can't seem to fall asleep.

Decided to pop a Heineken and blog-hop.

Accidentally overwrote the photos in the iPod, and am now left with nothing.

Three years of pics, and the only hope of salvaging them lies with the oh-so-dead PowerBook.

Damn. No good. No good.

Fuck I want to kick something.

New Beginning

Fulamak I know the title sounds damn keng, but it's nothing deep la; what I want to say.

Am finally rid of the hassle of sharing a computer with the sister. More importantly, am free from the eternal hellfire bondage that is using Windows.

Fuck man no kidding. In the one month or so since my PowerBook died on me, the sister's computer had to be formatted twice and we've had to reinstall Windows almost a dozen times. Spyware, trojan, backdoor, virus and dunno what other ku ku ciau fucked up-ness.

No kidding, baby. Not joking.



My feet are up on the table cause I want to give the sister's Dell as many fingers as possible. I've nothing against the maker, I just pity that it runs stupid fucking cibai Windows. And yes, the sister's old laptop (at the back) is only worthy enough to be a placemat to my ashtray.

It doesn't even deserve to be my ashtray - if it was, I'd ash all over it, trust me.

Sorry there's so much hate, but they have given me too much shit. Too much too much shit.

So it's goodbye ku ku ciaus..



And hello MacBook. *flashes toothy grin*

I really wanted a MacBook Pro, but they were too freaking expensive. Considering the extra fields the farmer and I would have to plow, I (painfully) bid the Pro adieu. Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. I am sure you'd have been tight. Tight. Woo tight.

My only complaint about the new toy thus far is that it runs really really hot. Man it will burn your balls/ovaries and guarantee you a life free from the noise and bullshit that children come with, if you dare use it on your lap.

Laptop. What an oxymoron.

Notice the two stacks of Carlsberg coasters I prop the MacBook up on? That's my temporary solution - my own makeshift laptop cooling system - until I get something more.. or less, rather, stupid-looking.

I suspect that's what killed my PowerBook - overheating. The table is glass-topped, and doesn't really do much in terms of dispersing heat.

They were selling these metal frame things which looked like mutilated coat hangers - to prop your laptop up, for like 69 bucks. Highway robbery, I tell you. Someone has to sell Apple in Penang as well, and actually offer some form of discount.

Anyone interested in a joint-venture?

Man they charged me 30 bucks for a stupid FireWire cable, which turned out to be useless in the end, as I still can't transfer my stuff from the PowerBook. Woe is me. Just what the fuck am I gonna do?



I only gave the old girl a foot, as it served me ever-so-faithfully for three odd years. Too bad you had to blow up, bitch. Too bad I still can't pry all my documents and shite out of you (hopefully there will be a yet at the end of that sentence). We could have been good together, you and I. Sigh.



By far the coolest feature - the remote. Now I can watch porn from a distance - saving my screen from the occupational hazard that is the cum stain. Ho ho. And I can pause, rewind, fast-forward, even turn the volume up. Double ho ho. Let me tell you, cum stains are impossible to remove from the screen. Not to mention quite unhygienic. They turn yellow when they dry up.

Wokey too much R-rated stuff. Soli soli.



The built-in camera can do some pretty cool shit. So hemsem, hor? I look like some guy from that that that.. cartoon. The pretty recent 3D CGI whatnot one. Ding I can't think of the title.

Am off. Supper calls. I don't wanna keep Mr. Mohd. Raffe waiting.

As always, much love.

The Real World

..is calling. Oh the wretched sound. Ohh. Ohhhhh pain pain pain.

The holidays are soon coming to an end. Reality beckons, and with it comes a whole truckful of shit. Man there's so much work to be done, and I just realised - bitching about it whilst not doing anything doesn't make it go away.

Damn.

Fuck man. Fuck fuck fuck I'm not ready to be pulled back into the real world. I don't want to go to school, I don't want to get back into the wards. I don't want to see sick people.

How come hot girls never get sick? How come Kim Jung-Hwa doesn't fall sick and go to Penang GH?



Tasty. Yum. Kim Jung-Hwaaaaaaaa.

Langkawi was fun. The hotel was fantastic - Mutiara Burau Bay Resort. I highly recommend it, unless the alcohol was fucking around with me head and it was really actually just a shithole.

Ho ho ho.

Still waiting on the pics, will put them up when I get them from Mr. Lalilu.

Just got back from a superb mamak session with the guys. It's CK's last night in Penang before he heads back to KL, then the states.



Haha. I really like this picture. Alvin cracks me up. Haha. Haha.

Anyway, I came home, ready for my bedtime Heineken. Reached for the fridge.. and damn.

Disaster.



There were none left. Fuck. There were only lame nata de testical coconut ball drinks, which I only stock to serve to Heineken-unfriendly guests. Ahem. Cough.

Went downstairs to the larger fridge, and there were none too. Zero. Zilch.

The pissing-off part?



Loads in the storeroom. Cibai. Puki.

Dunno which fucker only know how to drink but dunno how to refill the fridge.

Er.. That would be me. Oops. Haha. Fuck.

Man.. I'm only ranting cause I'm doing what I'm best at - procrastinating.

Anyway, I'd like to welcome James a.k.a. Casko Lee to the blogging community. Go read his shit and be sure to leave really sarcastic comments.

It's gonna be a weird night, falling asleep. A Heineken-less night. Sob.

I think I might be addicted. Ding.

Shite I can hear a cock crowing.

Song of the moment - Destiny by Zero 7. It came on while the iPod was on shuffle, and images of Kate Bosworth surfing the waves of Oahu came crashing down on me. Damn she's fine. Great great great song. Go listen.

Goodnight, my friends.